I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize