"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
