He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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