..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
