At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He shit in the fireplace
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
