yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
