that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
