id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
