I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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