Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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