I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
