He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
