Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
