Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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