Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
