Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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