So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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