Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
