Sorry, I don't speak sober.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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