kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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