I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
