some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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