Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
