Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
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