So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
