the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
