Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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