Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
