life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
