I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize