I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
