u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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