When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
