People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
