I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
