I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
