i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
