Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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