wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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