she woke up with a sticky ear
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
