why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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