Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
