mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
