two words: eviction party
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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