I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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