i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
