Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Mom said you looked used
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
