Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
