we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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