That's when you crack a 10am beer
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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