I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
