We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
