So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
