I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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