also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
