i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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