Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
