just tell him i said nine months
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
