Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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