toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
